You Might Be A Redneck Elf If...
- Elrond throws you out of Rivendell for ruining his garden with your 3-wheel ATV.
- You deep fry your lembas cakes and eat 'em with fatback.
- You ask Cirdan the Shipwright what the limit is on bass fishing at the Grey Havens.
- You get the Dixie Chicks to record your lament for Gandalf entitled: "Take This Wizard and Shove Him".
- You leave your gaudy Yuletide decorations on your flet all year round.
- You own a velvet painting of Gil-galad.
- When drunk, you taunt mortals at the Prancing Pony with, "Well, at least I ain't gonna die like the rest of you suckers!"
- Your elven steed has a bumper sticker that reads: 'I don't brake for dwarves.'
- You were expelled from Lothlorien for cutting down the mallorn trees for firewood.
- You have a still that puts out hooch made from elanor flowers.
- You and your buddies regularly sneak up to the Black Gate and egg it, then ride off really fast.
- You go skinny dipping in the Dead Marshes.
...I'll leave it up to you to decide which of these DSCA, Deevius, and I are actually guilty of. We are redneck elves (and hobbit), and proud.